Super Hero

There is no world around
No smiles
No frowns
No fear
Or love
No want
There are just empty walls of space
Closing in around
Suffocating me
And there are these tears
They are falling down
So swiftly and quietly
But no they do not stop
The walls come in the tears come down
I'm drowning in my own pain
I knew it would end this way
No superhero to drop in and save the day
I keep picturing your face
It hurts so bad that you won't see me for who I am
And I'm drowning faster
Losing the battle
Losing the war
Losing my mind
The only place of my own
Now all yours
You have total control
What can I do
The walls have me pinned
The tears have no place to go
As I drift away
No one to come in
And save the day.

How Dare They?

Regret it's the game we all seem to be playing now. I regret looking like the rest, never trying harder, never being me. I regret dating him, wearing that. And oh em gee that perty... Yes, that's what I hear everyday. Personally, I have no regrets. Oh yes, so many things I could change but it's in the past now. Whats the point of dwelling? The only thing I guess I could say I regret, or would want to change, is not letting him know I'm different. I'm not like other girls. i can think. I have a mind. I'm strong, I've been through a lot. The world judges by what's on the outside and that's not all there is. People don't even realize they do this. I had somenoe tell my I don't know what a hard life is. Yes I do. I've lost more people then you, been through mroe abuse. Live with the abuse. You live with love, hurting yourself. I want to be there for anyone and everyone, but I don't want to live in a world where we jump to conclusions. Where we judge by things we don't know. Where we can't even say congratulations to someone who needs it the most. What do you know? Tell me that! WHAT DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT ME? Why does no one ever listen. All they do is talk because they know I'll listen. Like I've said a million times, I listen because I never want anyone to feel as alone as I do. Isn't that hint enough. I need someone. Anyone. To trust. Because I have never trusted anyone in my life. Never. I want to find that exception. Can someone just listen?

Here's to a Smile

So I guess it's like giving in.
I didn't want to go on.
But now I have to.
I don't want to see the world
But I have no other choice.
I don't want to write, or breath , or sing, or even see anything.
But this world still holds the control.
So looks like I'm stuck in this.
Maybe it'll get better.
I learned my lesson last time I said how could it get worse.
Crying myself to sleep and hoping for someone to hold me..
It doesn't work.
Hope brought me nothing but despair because I'm alone.
So here's to giving in.
Here's to those days I can muster a real smile.
Here's to the life I'm living.
Here's to the love I'm giving.
Here's to my beautiful friends.
Here's to these beautiful words.
Because life may not feel like it's worth living.
But we might as well make the best of it.
So yes, I will go on.
Thank you if you're someone I run into along the way.
Just know, I will make it one more day.

Sunken words

I guess you could say it hurts

But then I'd be a liar

I guess I could say it'll heal

But then I'd be confused

I could say I never really cared

Never really felt anything

Never had any hope

But then I'd be a fool

I knew it was the truth

My I tried to deceive myself

My heart It hurts

It's empty without you

I don't know why I ever tried

Oh god I can't believe I'd ever be good enough

I feel like such a fool

To think I'd found someone who cares

I never even had you

So what have I lost?

Its not fair that I must love and lose

Does the pain subside?

Will I feel whole

My life is spiraling

And I have no place to go

Just down down down

There are not bright skies

Not even rain

To wash away the pain

There is absolutely nothing

But blind fear

That I am forever alone

Have you ever just listened
To the sounds of a cold winter night
The world outside so still and frozen
There's nothing more the world could hold
The gentle breathing
As the world slumbers oh so peacefully
But no no not me
I lie awake at night
Wondering, how will I handle tomorrow..

The Beginning of the End

It's called the beginning
Solely based on the fact that it's new
Something untouchable that posses the soul
Like the soft metal that touches my temple
It's called the end
For many people know it's time to let go, but hold on
Like the trigger I gently caress
It's where the line breaks
The bridge falls
And I go weak in my knees
Where my smile one was
Are painted on scars
Revealed for the first time, for the world to see
The end brings no closure
The difference that it makes
At a point like this
Closure is insignificant
It's the end of the line
Wake up and step off
No turning back now
But those big brown eyes just beg me to stay
Though I know they aren't calling my name
It never was me
Though I like to believe it is
Hoping this dream comes true
But I still feel the weight in my hand
Hollow pain in my chest
Now a hole in my head
As I fall into the sleep
That gently cradles me
Until the end of the day

Anyone even. There? No not me.

Guys look I'm sorry but I'm done. I have nothing left to say so I'm letting this go. I feel like I'm talking to myself anyway. If only I knew someone was out there. I hope you know my heart is with you wherever you go but this is goodbye.